Are Birds Real?

Nearly every day I read something that makes me slap my forehead. I think: What will they think of next? How can people believe that? You have to be kidding me. But novel ideas are everywhere, and many of them are not true. To paraphrase Mark Twain, it ain’t what people don’t know, it’s what they do know that ain’t true.
What comes to mind are all kinds of conspiracy theories like the CIA taking down the world trade centers, contrails spreading toxic gas, and climate change being a hoax perpetrated by China. Now we learn that birds aren’t real. They are actually drones which are programmed to spy on us. The government killed all the birds and replaced them with drones. Clever, eh?

After some CIA leaders were annoyed that birds were leaving fecal matter on their cars, CIA operatives used specially fitted B 52 bombers to spread poison gas around the country that only killed birds – 12 billion birds to be exact. CIA Director from 1953 to 1961, Allen Dulles was asked to reallocate 65 million dollars of public funding to find a way to exterminate all bird populations.The water tanks of the bombers were filled with a serum gas that would dissolve into the bloodstream of the bird and dissolve the body entirely within 24 hours. Then, using drones made to look like real birds and containing cameras and computer programs, the birds are surveilling us on a daily basis. JFK was in office at the time of this operation. No one but a few members of the CIA and the 23 men hired to build the Bombers knew of the project.

Ok, if you believe me so far, stop it. This is another conspiracy theory, albeit tongue-in-cheek. This is actually a marketing scheme called “Bird’s Aren’t Real” started by a college student at the University of Tennessee in Memphis. Peter McIndoe went live with Birds Aren’t Real in January 2017 at his city’s Women’s March.  The idea of selling Birds Aren’t Real goods, he says, came after the stunt gained traction over Instagram.

The Instagram account has more than 50,000 followers, a YouTube page with more than 45,000 views, and a Twitter profile with nearly 8,500 followers. McIndoe handles all these accounts and fulfills every order for the Birds Aren’t Real goods he sells online. He declined to comment on how much money he’s made off the T-shirts, hats, and stickers, many of which are out of stock.

For more details on this hokey operation, Audubon has a good article.

This is only the latest in bird-related conspiracies.  Hezbollah claimed of capturing Israeli spying eagles, and there was the 2011 capture in Saudi Arabia of a griffon vulture carrying an Israeli-labeled satellite tracking device. In May 2012, a dead European bee-eater with an Israeli leg-band, used by naturalists to track migratory birds, was found by villagers near the southeastern Turkish city of Gaziantep. The villagers worried that the bird may have carried a micro-chip from Israeli intelligence to spy on the area and alerted local officials.

All this in the 21st century? No wonder we used to think that storks brought babies.

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